A very honest Hogmanay


London, Personal / Sunday, January 1st, 2017

It’s January 1st 2017 – precisely 1 week past Christmas, meaning I’m sitting here thanking the Universe that the copious Instagram uploads of Michael Kors watches and designer bags lined up in a row alongside the caption ‘Boy did good’ have finally come to an end.

* Rolls eyes; hides Michael Kors watch from a few Christmases ago at back of wardrobe… *

This morning, when scrolling through my social media newsfeeds (because who reads the actual news when they wake up these days?) to my horror, I found that the annoying materialistic Christmas gift posts have now been replaced by even more evil demons:

“Thank you for an amazing year, 2016!”

[Insert ridiculous New Year’s resolution here]

And the most terrifying of them all…

#Blessed

Social media is a highlight reel – it filters out some not-so-pretty truths to make us think everyone has had the perfect year and will be strolling into 2017 with no mistakes, or tears, or fat days, or awkward moments. Don’t get me wrong – I am guilty of applying that Valencia filter to not only my face, but my life most of the time – but when reading all of these cheesy New Year posts this morning, it made me feel a bit nauseous (debatable whether this was just my hangover).

From my previous blog posts, I’ve found that when sharing the less glamorous aspects of my life, it has not only been therapeutic but surprisingly, so many people can relate to them. So, on the first day of 2017, in the hope of helping people to realise that it’s OK not to be perfect, I’m going to allow you all to laugh in my expense. As I sit in my pyjamas frantically eating the remainders of my selection boxes for breakfast before the January diet starts tomorrow, I’m going to tell you all my New Year’s resolutions what I hope to achieve in 2017, with #NoFilter.

If you don’t laugh, you cry, as they say…

 

  1. Be less poorpoor

If you’ve read my previous posts then this one is a no brainer, so I’ve put this is my number 1 priority.

At the start of the year, I managed to max my credit card and the interest free period ran out, leaving me with the harsh reality of debt and charges. Instead of facing the issue sensibly, I made no effort to pay anything off, continued going out every weekend, went on expensive holidays to Ibiza and Las Vegas and lived off eggs and tuna to balance it out. The power of FOMO is strong.

In November, I moved flats, but stupidly overlooked my previous tenancy agreement and ended up having to pay rent for 2 flats, and on top of that I was at the verge of breakdown with my old landlord threatening to keep my £900 deposit for no good reason other than the fact he was a con artist disguised as a little old man called Gary.

The tip of the iceberg for me was setting up a direct debit for £15 a month to slowly pay back money to my mum and realising that by April 2020, I will be completely debt free. How’s that for a megatrend stat?

As you can tell, 2016 wasn’t exactly the year of financial excellence for me, mostly because I am useless with money and enjoy an alcoholic beverage a little too much. Hopefully I’ve run into enough bad luck now, and with my pledge to be more sensible in 2017, the only way is up from here…

 

  1. Embrace my awkwardness

I’ve never been very good with self-confidence. I am that person who is extremely awkward in social situations and does things like shake the hands of airport security when they are gesturing for my passport (this is a true story – I actually did this in Las Vegas airport – oh dear God it hurts to be me).

I always have a story to tell my friends about me doing something stupid or embarrassing, so as you can imagine when it comes to job interviews, I believe I am the absolute worst. I get so nervous that I’m going to kiss the interviewer or somehow insult their family that I begin to think I’m incapable. I am a big babbling ball of embarrassment.

Throughout last year, I interviewed for a few positions in-house in my company, and despite my usual awkward encounters, I actually thought I had done pretty well. When I found out I didn’t get the jobs, time after time, it was a real confidence knock. Each time I found myself back to the drawing board, wondering if I’d ever manage to act like a normal human being. Would I be better off as an Amy Schumer type, making a living off of my disastrous life? This was actually the reason why I began the Loser of London blog, but sadly I’ve had no sponsorship deals yet (please give me money).

Finally, last month I was offered a promotion, so putting myself out there and failing miserably actually paid off in the long run. Usually being a person who practices self-doubt as a hobby, I reckon I’m probably not as bad as I make myself out to be. This year I’m going to try to see my goofiness as a charm rather than a chore.

1015388

 

  1. Join a choir

On a complete side note, I really enjoy singing and would like to actually do something about it this year. Also, in all honesty, I am too hungover to think of a third resolution that has any actual substance. I’ve written a blog post on New Year’s day – give me a break guys.

 

3 chocolate reindeer and a bacon sandwich down, I’ve come to the conclusion from my reflections that 2016 wasn’t so bad after all. Despite how cliché it seems, celebrating the New Year actually is a good opportunity to make a fresh start and leave the things you’d rather not post on Instagram behind you. I for one am going to take my low points from last year and desperately try to turn them into highs this year.

If I fail then at least there’ll always be memes I can relate to…

#NewYearNewMe(mes)

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